Girlfriend 1.0 - by Kapil

I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it.  I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is turned off.  But I'm embarrassed to say I can't
find the switch to turn the sound off.  I just run them separately, and it works okay. GirlFriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with my Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing incompatibility.  I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I
thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0.

After months of  conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it would require a Token Ring to run properly. He was right - as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself. Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone,
but the first time I used it, it gave me a virus anyway. I
had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while.
I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0.  This time I
used a SCSI probe first and also installed a virus
protection program. It worked okay for a while until I
discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system.  I
tried running GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still
installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I didn't know
about that automatically senses the presence of any other
version of GirlFriend and communicates with it in some way,
which results in the immediate removal of both versions. The
version I have now works pretty well, but there are still
some problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is
written in some obscure language I can't understand, much
less reprogram. Frankly I think there is too much attention
paid to the look and feel rather than the desired
functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your
hardware, you usually have to use gold-plated contacts. And
I've never liked how GirlFriend is totally
"object-oriented." A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his
version of GirlFriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a
Terminate and Stay Resident version of GirlFriend. He
discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if
you don't upgrade to Fiance 1.0.  So he did, but soon after
that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a
huge resource hog.  It has taken up all his space, so he
can't load anything else. One of the primary reasons he
decided to go with Wife 1.0 was because it came bundled with
FreeSexPlus.  Well, it turns out the resource allocation
module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to
FreeSexPlus, particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try.
On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up
system before he can do anything. Although he did not ask
for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw which has an
automatic pop-up feature he can't turn off.  I told him to
try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard if you try
to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will
delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself.
Then Mistress 1.0 won't install anyway because of
insufficient resources.

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